I SMELLED FOOD IN MY HOUSE SO I WALKED OUT TO SEE WHAT MY PARENTS WERE MAKING AND THEY SAW ME AND THEN MY DAD YELLED “HA I TOLD YOU YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS”
MY PARENTS MADE A BET TO SEE IF I WOULD COME OUT OF MY ROOM IF I SMELLED FOOD AND THEY WERE RIGHT
(via b00ty-master)
what if one day for 24 hours everyone with a tumblr turned into whatever their url is
fuck
finally
I’d be fucked
(via b00ty-master)
- non-english speaker: I am awfully sorry at the terrible state of my English abilities, as for the English language is not my mother tongue. I hope you forgive me for every foolish mistake I make.
- english as first language: lol it okei
why are people surprised when they see depictions of hitler that show him doing nice things with his friends or people he cares about
did they think he just sat in darkened rooms rubbing his hands together muttering “jews” disdainfully under his breath all day
yes
(via b00ty-master)
if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
(Source: attains, via b00ty-master)
i bet the teachers talk shit about us to other teachers
one time in the hallway i walked past my english teacher and a councelor and the councelor goes “I just wanna punch that kid in the fucking face god dammit”
(Source: emo-oomshi, via b00ty-master)
